Friday, January 11, 2008

Oh...the lessons that we learn.

Many times as our children grow, we watch them learn some of the same lessons over and over and over again. It's painful to watch...but we have to go on with the hope that they will someday get it. It may take more time than what we think we can stand, be good parents, we can never give in....though we may want to...we must be strong. (I'm sure my own parents went through this...of course, not with me, but with those two rambunctious brothers of mine. Me? Please....I was the perfect child! )

Tonight....I had to watch Issei go through something that, if, yesterday you had asked me to write how I thought this was all going to turn out...I would have been pretty damn close.

For Christmas he got, after over a year of pleading and begging and sneaky negotiations, a Nintendo DS-Lite. According to him EVERYONE in his school has one. Here is an example of a conversation we actually had one time:

Issei: *** SIGH***
Mom: And that was for...what?
Issei: I'm just really sad. (and sounding oh so very pathetic!!! Violins, please!!!)
Mom: Okay....I'll play.....why are you so sad?
Issei: I can't talk to my friends.
Mom: What? That's silly!! Of course, you can talk to your friends. What do you mean?
Issei: **sigh** ALL my friends have a DS and they always talk about the games. I don't have
one so I can't talk with them.

The boy was trying to play me like a cheap piano!! :-D
He survived probably the longest year of his life...and now he can join the many young boys, with their heads down, all playing those damn games!!

In the Kuroiwa House, I am trying to follow the example of my friend, Lauren and her friends in California....they have basically taken TV away during the week (or at least they had...not sure how that is going). Now, as the TV here is basically background noise for many, that would be like declaring war.
But....with the Gameboy and now the DS and the time spent playing has been restricted.
No games Monday-Thursday...and on Sunday ONLY after the work has been done.
So good...until, and yes, this is partially my fault, but...I slipped a bit, but recovered nicely, I think.

On Thursday, Issei comes home (and not to the afterschool program) and after doing homework can go and play with friends. One of his friends got a new game and wanted Issei to's not Friday yet, now is it? I understand the friend is going somewhere this weekend and won't be around on Sunday (Really? I don't know, but it was a nice argument.) let's make a deal...he can have the DS for a bit on Thursday, but he gives up his Friday time. Deal?? game Friday...can I go now?
"Are you sure you understand?" "Yes. See you later."
(Can you seeing where this is going?) we are, Friday night and before dinner he wanted to play the game.
"Do you NOT remember the deal we made? You traded your time.", says I. "But...but...just for a little bit?" he asked tearfully.

I stood my ground...sat down with him and calmly went over what he had agreed to the day before. Sadly....oh so sadly...he went back to playing with the Legos with his younger brother. As he walked back into the living room, he said,

"This just really sucks!"

I hope that, whenever something like this happens, he will remember that every decision he makes has consequences. And yes, sometimes, it is very sucky....but that's life. This may be a lesson that takes some time.

God help us all!!

You all have a wonderful weekend!!

*The picture, by the way, is Issei when he was 2. The eyebrows, in that sad expression, have not changed in 8 years!!!


Mary Alice said...

clap...clap..clap.calpclap. Bravo Mom. If only everyone did as you do - oh the character we could grow.

Anonymous said...

Lol..I have a friend (single Mom) here in Eads dealing with the same thing at age 16 and a car. Boy lost his driving privaleges for 1 month and every day is a HUGE struggle. But she is hanging inthere despite all the ugly and mean things he saying and doing. it never gets any prepared. luv ya Shellie

Paida said...

Yep - sounds familiar.

good job mom!

By the way love all the blogging! I need to start checking your site everyday!