Wednesday, January 23, 2008

No really....what do YOU think it means?!?!

The other day, I had some free time on my hands and since I never rarely get free time, I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do with myself. So...I took said "self" to a discount store here that is somewhere between a Wal-Mart and a K-Mart (sadly, though, nowhere near a Tar-jay!!) It's a pretty good place to go shopping and I can usually find a good bargain or three. The name of the store is can imagine my excitement when I first saw the sign...and then...."oh crap!'s an E...not an A!!" there I was, looking through the t-shirts and as always, the ones with English catch my eye. Not because of their wonderful designs or catchy phrases, but because usually....and by "usually" I mean 99.9% of the time....the English is just. plain. stupid. It will make no freakin' sense at all!!
For example, take the t-shirt that reached out and grabbed me I happened to find:


And.....the dogs?? Leep??
Am I missing something here???

After a few moments of just shaking my head and giggling to myself, I took a picture with my cell phone and sent it to two American friends, asking them what they thought....One response was , "You're the English teacher, you tell us!!"

Nope. Sorry. Not even going to try!

I don't know if you are aware of it, but the English in most non-English speaking countries is positively laughable. If you don't believe me, go to and check out what they have!! Some of the things, you will think are jokes, but...I can guarantee, they are not.

*BTW, that shirt was actually kind of nice...good color...and cheap!!! And no, I didn't buy it...
Wrong size, don't you know. Would make a great present for someone though!!! :-D

I will never forget one day, on the streetcar, an older woman sitting across from me wearing a t-shirt and nice pants...casual, yet on the dressy-side. Her t-shirt had some very elaborate flowers embroidered around some English....and it said:

"These are the day of our life. We are dancing monkeys."

Have you ever gotten in the situation where you get tickled....and the harder you try NOT to laugh, the more you actually do?
I finally just got off the streetcar because I think I was starting to make her nervous....and I know I was about to completely go crazy!!!

Welcome to a small corner of my world.

Everyday, I drive past an electronics store, with huge banners outside with "FOR YOUR JUST" written on them. Hell-llloooooO....maybe Just for you might not be better?!?!?!
The newspaper this past weekend did a whole section about the new library that just opened here in the city. On the front page: WE LOVE LIBRARY!!!

I'm about to start something that, honestly, has no end!!!

And then....there husband. Though he really doesn't speak English very well, he does understand it better than most. He likes wearing t-shirts with English that, to the average Japanese person, is just English. And yet...the meaning will be oh so funny, and understood mainly by the foreign population.
My family, especially my youngest brother, doesn't help the situation one bit.

Last year for Christmas, he sent the K-Man a t-shirt that, as I explained to him, most Americans would get....not immediately, mind you....but after passing on the street, after about 2 or 3 seconds, he would probably hear them laughing as they walked on down the way.

So, what does it say? "I AM the man from Nantucket."

(Go ahead, take a second or two....)

He loves this shirt. *sigh* add to of MY favorite t-shirts from the Sweet Potato Queens:

I used to have one of theirs that said
"Never wear panties to a party."
I wonder what happend to that one?!?!

And by the way....if you're going to wear ANYthing from the Sweet Potato Queens, you REALLY must accessorize with these:

My good friend, Dena and I wearing our SPQ Divine Diva glasses...she truly is my "sister from another mister" and has been for over 20 years.
(And I do believe we were both wearing panties!! Obviously, not an "official" party that night!!!)

So....if you see something funny on a t-shirt or anywhere...tell me about it...I love stuff like that.

Especially if it doesn't make me wanna take out my red pen and start correcting!!!

Have a great day!!


Mary Alice said...

Ohhh my Gawd Sister Queen....I was a member of a Sweet Potato Queen group when I lived in Georgia and I MET Jill Conner Browne. herownself in Nebraska. Jill said the f-word while talking to me and gave me a card that says "Lick ya all over 10 cents." I cherish it.

dkuroiwa said...

1. You MET Jill Conner Browne?!?!?! Her ownself?!?!?!
I have never laughed out loud so much while reading a book as I do whenever I read any of her books!!! :-D YOU have the glasses?!?! You really need them!!! They are kind of "empowering"!!!
I wear them over here, especially while driving, and people just look at me like "WTF"??? Maybe they see
me as a really silly foreigner ("baka gaijin"!!)....I see myself as just "plum-full of mystique"!!! :-D

2) I used to live in Georgia!!! Lawrenceville...but close enough to Snellville to make it really fun!!!
3) Nebraska?? REally? I'm from Colorado and no one there really sees any reason at all to go there...except maybe for football and maybe a ZZTop concert!! :-D
4) "Lick you all over for 10 cents"???? LOVE IT!!! That almost beats the "never wear panties to a party"!!!
5) You were a member?!?!?!? There I go getting all 'jealous colored' again!!!