Wednesday, May 20, 2009

If I say "Happy Hump Day", will that make you giggle?

I used to work with a British guy, and from the very beginning of our time together, I realized that there are certain terms we use in "American"English, that drove him freaking nuts. (And just for the record, I think that there are waaaay more "British" English terms that make me equally nuts, if not way, way more!!) If he was really getting on my nerves, I'd just try to work fanny pack and hump day into the conversation and that would disgust him enough to leave the area. Worked every time! teehee...snort!


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So...really....Who took the "P" out of PMS???

Yesterday....at the supermarket and on the way home...I had PMS. In that short 25 minutes ...I went through some of your basic PMS fun-filled emotions and what-not:

~~Anger~~

(to the taxi driver in front of me) "Is the concept of 'blinker first THEN pull over to the side' completely lost on your sorry ass??"

~~Weepy~~

"I need some 'patio time"'with my mommmmmmmmmm."


~~Bitchy~~

(to the lady in front of me in the check-out line) "Good Lord a'mighty, lady...do you think you could buy MORE crap for your stupid kids to eat?"

~~Sad~~

"Oh...man...I broke my fingernail."

~~Forgetful~~

(in the supermarket) "What did I need to buy? Where IS my list? Where am I?"

~~Cravings~~

"Ooh...cheese...must have cheese...Wo! Chocolate! Hey! Peach flavored Kit Kats! Do I smell bacon? Oh, yes, I'll have a sample of American beef, thank YOU!"

and finally...

~~Acceptance~~

"sigh"

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Just a couple more reasons I really do like my boys:

1) By the time I had parked the car under the carport and walked...nay, trudged up the steps to our house, an invisible, pointy elbow was sticking itself into the small of my back, making me oh so very cranky. Needing a hug something terrible, I beckoned my oldest to come into the kitchen.

Me: Please....just come in here for a minute.

He: Why?

Me: I need a hug, realllllly bad.

He: ~~sigh~~ Okay.

In the middle of the hug, I kissed him on top of his sweaty, stinky head and said,

Thank you very much. I needed that.

He: Anytime.

As he was letting go, he patted my behind, chuckled a bit... and then went back into the living room.

2) Koji has found some older DVDs that he has been watching lately....one in particular, he has been watching a lot! One that....yeah, I'll admit it...I really do like!
So, when he yelled at me to come and watch his dance....can you imagine my smile and laughter as I watched him do his really good version of this:

Oh, yeah, baby.....tequila!!

***************
So...let me make sure I understand this.......
2,000 calories.....


are bad, especially if since I would have to eat 5 Big Macs......or....

one of these 'onion blossom' thingies....all by myself


But....2,000 calories
are good for
my eyelashes?!?!?!
Since when did this come about??

Has anyone tried this mascara?

In my opinion, sure it might look good, but...
it takes a sandblaster to get it off!!!

I'll just stick to my regular one in the pink and green tube....it's the one that most models prefer anyway!!!

********************

I am doing some searching for a new swim suit for summer. For the first time in a very long time, I'm not going to the "big girls' store" to buy one. (And by "big girls" I do NOT mean "girls over the age of 18", that YOU, very much!)

So, one place had an interesting suit...actually, it was the name that reached out and grabbed my attention.......and the name of that particular suit was:

"Distortion Swim Suit".

Now...I'm sure that is exactly what it does...but really? Could the guys in Marketing NOT have come up with a better name???


So...after some perusing of on-line catalogues....I'm leaning pretty close to

this one....and it has a much better name.

I do love me some Eddie Bauer!!

Happy Hump Day, Everyone!!!
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**Yeah, yeah, yeah...the pictures are from
Google Images and one from Eddie Bauer, himself.

15 comments:

hulagirlatheart said...

Yes, it makes me giggle. Shopping for swimsuits does NOT make me giggle.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I get the whole range of PMS emotions...so funny how it comes on with NO notice and can usually leave just as quickly.
I miss Pee Wee Herman!!!
I have serious issues understanding Brittish folks....really!
Bathing suit shopping can make me go postal.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

"it takes a sandblaster to get it off"

You crack me up.

I lost my cart at the grocery store yesterday. What?

Pee Wee! My older kids still have their Pee Wee doll and Chair-y cluttering up a shelf in my garage.

smalltownmom said...

Good luck with the swim suit!

I hope you get a video of the dance.

Cid said...

Great giggle post. Nice to know that someone on the other side of the world is PMSing in the supermarket just like me.

Yarni Gras! said...

I still say hump day....people go 'huh?' when I say it.
I love the PMS thing....I just crave chocolate and cry alot. Sometimes I get cranky but mainly, I cry. I love that your son gave you the hug you needed. My kids are like that...we are SO lucky!
Bathing suit drama? not so much, I'm so WHITE it doesn't matter what else is going on....people are so blinded by my WHITENESS they can't see anything for a long time after that.

Ginaagain said...

PMS... it's a way of life for me. I have found that being hungry makes me much nastier and grocery stores are a very bad place indeed.

And bathing suits? Not going there.. I don't think I'll even wear shorts this summer.

Oops.. I was supposed to be giggling wasn't I? Peach Kit-Kats? Now that sounds like something that would make me giggle! The kids gave me a dark chocolate bar with chili and cherries for mother's day.. such a weird combo but very yummy.

Nancy said...

I used to always say "be glad this is just PMS and not my real personality"

swimsuits, make-up, and food should never be considered while PMS'ing.

Happy Hump Day !

Now go get your hump on.

Janet said...

i am so "borrowing" that PMS thing for my password protected blog post tonight LMAO!

Helena said...

Fanny pack makes me blush every time I hear it!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Loreal Voluminous--not the waterproof kind.

Maybe next year I can shop in the not-big-girls store with you. Sigh.

Little hands around your neck have the ultimate healing power.

Moxy Jane said...

Sigh...I'm such a bad mom. Hugs are the LAST thing I want when I'm grumpy and lumpy feeling. But, what a wonderful thing to let your child do for you!! I will remember your wisdom the next time I feel like peeling my skin off and running down the street in a black dragon rage.

Ah, Pee Wee...he's the BEST!!

I have NO desire to go swim-suit shopping *how funny, I just typed swim-shit shopping!!* so I will gladly let you do it for me;-) That black and white number is quite nice, but I'm not seeing what miracle that model is needing!

3rdEyeMuse said...

If I knew how to type that dance number theme song, I would ... over and over ... like it's happening in my head ... *sighs*

Anonymous said...

the swimsuit looks perfect for you - buy it!!!

kim

phd in yogurtry said...

Ah, so 2000 Calorie mascara is named that because it takes 2000 calories to scrub it off? Seriously, why would they name it that?

I love my Miracle bathing suits. I have bought a few of them over the years. After carrying twins to term, I NEED the extra elastic in the tummy. I found mine on Ebay. Way WAY cheaper. $40 instead of $120.