Tuesday, April 24, 2012

my first ramble of a new decade....

*being 50 fifty, is a bit easier to handle when i'm here in japan*

while we were in the states, i was surrounded by oh so many friends and family and it was wonderful, but.....though i absolutely loved being there and wouldn't trade a second of that time,
it was also a constant reminder as to how old i really am.
no....i'm not living in a state of denial, my friends, but,
a state of deceit.

let me explain---
(and for the purpose of said explanation, the friends that i refer to will be the
particular ones that i went to high school with.)

i seemed to have been a late bloomer in life....not knowing what i really wanted to do with my life and taking "the scenic route" through university, not finishing as quickly as everyone else, getting married later than most everyone and subsequently, also having children later.

my  friends have various lives, but, the majority of them can be divided into two main groups:
those who have no children
those whose children are  high school age and older
(the son of one of my friends is turning 30 this year, for crying out loud!!).

do you see where i'm coming from on this?

while many most of my friends are becoming grandparents.....
yeah, i'd like to introduce you
 to my 9-year-old.
the very idea of becoming a grandmother is not even remotely in the same vicinity as my 'realm of possibilties'.

when i was in the states, i saw these 2 beautiful girls, daughters of one of my best friends,...
girls i have known and loved since almost the very moment that they were born...
(this is a picture of them from our wedding)
and now, they are mommies.

and their babies....

were playing with my baby.

in japan, as most of my friends are a bit younger, our children are all about the same age (one is in university, but the boys refer to her as "big sister").
while a few of the parents at the boys' schools are my age, most of them are also younger.
i tend to consider myself the same as them.
not fifty.
see....it's deceiving.
and really...i don't mind that kind of deceit so much.
it's something i can handle.

i waited longer than others to be ready to be a parent,
and until i'm ready to be a grandparent, i'll just enjoy the heck out of those
grand babies of my friends....and those
angels that belong to my sisters.

as long as aunt debbie feels young,
she will rock a new generation of nieces and nephews!


smalltownme said...

Debbie, you will always rock! Age is just a number, it's how you feel that counts.

Janet said...

it's funny...when I lived in Japan, my then husband, who is 10 years younger than me, worked with people his age, so consequently, most of my friends were younger than me, sometimes by a wider margin than 10 years. But now...it's kind of still the same! Most of my friends (barring the ones from high school, of course) are in their late 30s or early 40s. But I never FELT older and no one ever said anything about my [advanced] age (except for that one chick who didn't want to ride bikes with me cause she thought I'd slow her down and I left her cigarette smoking ass in the dust...just sayin'). So ... smalltownme is right...age is just a number :-)

dkuroiwa said...

some days i feel about 36 (that was a good year!)....but some days (like this morning...) i'm feeling muuuuuuuch older!!! mornings are like that!! i think that what my thing is, is that i usually don't really think about the number....until i'm around people that i'm positive of their age and i'm like "oh....riiiiiight....they are grandparents and i'm their age.....hmmmmmmmm"!!!

i teach mainly older people and on any given day, i am almost always (except when i teach kids!) one of the youngest (if not THE youngest) in the room. i look at some of those ladies, especially, who are in their late 60's and you know what? i hope to be like them when i am their age....they? are ageless!!! of course, they also have absolutely NO sympathy for my own aging woes that i sometimes go through!!!

i remember at a dinner/drinking party with one of the PTA groups i belonged to, we got to talking about age and one mom was particularly bemoaning how old she was getting. i looked at her and yes, she did look much older than me so i just asked her how old she was. with a heavy sigh she said she was 46. i just patted her on the hand and with an air of total authority (HA!) i said that i was 48....i though she would probably be okay. the shocked looks on the faces of everyone around the table was one of those moment i wish i could have captured in a picture. priceless. awesome. i love it when that happens!!!
one mom actually told me later that they were wondering how old i was and they really had no idea!!
loved it!!

Suburban Correspondent said...

A friend of mine is the exact same age as me, but her youngest is the same age as my oldest. In other words, she is a blissful empty-nester while I am still driving elementary-school-aged carpools. I'm slightly jealous. I definitely should have started this kid gig at a younger age.

Jennifer Denise Ouellette said...

Being an almost-empty nester at 48 makes me feel young. Maybe we are all deceiving ourselves however we can!

ChiTown Girl said...

Well, my "baby" is 18 1/2 (and yes, that 1/2 is important!!) and in college, yet every single day I wish I were having another. I know it's crazy to want to start over at this point, but I can't help it.

Hey, I took a BUNCH of pictures for you the other day, but I haven't downloaded them yet to my computer. As soon as I do, I'll email you! :)

Mrs. G. said...

I thought I was older than you. Fifty? No way. You've got a lot of rockin' left, sister.

Yarni Gras! said...

I'm with you sweetie! I'm 52 in a couple months and my kids are 14 and 16. I'm SO glad I waited...they keep me young :-)

Gina said...

I think most 36 yr olds would have trouble keeping up with you! I wish I had your energy.

see you there! said...

Age, Ha! We seem to be posting on the same wave length today. I love that you teach older women. I must say that I fail at learning languages tho.