desperately seeking my R

i can't find it.

i know it is here...in this house somewhere...hiding in plain sight, mocking me and my

inability to discover its whereabouts.

dammit.

i need it.

no, it's not one of those things that will cause me to fade away to oblivion

without it, but....it has meaning.

it symbolizes a relatively new friendship that i cherish

as much as i do the old ones.

it's symbolizes the fact that i can't be there with a friend as

she is going through a very difficult time....

again.

dammit.

i received it 5 years ago from that friend.
it's part of a reminder of my friend's

j o u r n e y

as she was about to go through the chemo and radiation and meds and

all other else that was part of the "breast cancer package".

she was given 7 small silver charms....

with the instructions to give those charms to friends that she could count on to be there

for her as she started off on this, a most difficult of

J O U R N E Y s.

i was R.

though i'm a gazillion miles away, i wore that R on a necklace,

sometimes on a bracelet

everyday

for my friend.

she was always in my thoughts

and my prayers.

everyday.

the journey was a long one,

but,

she survived.

she has spent the last couple of years cancer free,

but it has been at a price.

the drugs she has taken to

"help prevent the cancer from coming back"

have played havoc with her body,

made her sick,

and in the long run,

didn't help one freaking bit.

it's back.

and this time....

it's going to take surgery to get rid of it.

i really need to find that R.

i can't be there to hold her hand or offer hugs or

or even feed her silly cat, but, if i could just find

that damn R,

i would at least have something to hold.

something to clinch in my hand

 as i pray at the shrine for her...

or when i have yet another angry discussion with God

about my issues on this whole situation.

until i do find that damn R

(and i will find it)

please, dear friend,

to show my support and love for you

picture me

with pink gloves

shaking some pink pompoms

wearing some really cute pink boots

(if i could just find them in my size)

i'm thinking that if you ever are in need of a smile,

i give you permission to picture me in all three.

at the same time.

dancing

and

wearing this t-shirt

just for you.

please, say a prayer, my dear friends, for MY dearest of friends.

she really needs all the love and support we have.

thank you.

**all pictures posted here tonight were lovingly borrowed from GoogleImages...
it's for a good cause...i don't think they will mind....at least, i hope they don't**

when all else fails and nothing comes to you...a little rambling never hurt anyone

We are now in the throes of almost-13-year-old angst and it is truly reeking a havoc on yours truly unlike ever done before.

He's happy.

He's sad.

He snuggles on the sofa with mom and watches TV.

He's angry.

He's lonely.

He plays and laughs with his little brother.

He talks about something funny that happened at school.

He fights with his little brother.

He's silent.

He's mumbling something under his breath as he walks by.

He comes for a hug...then stalks away.

And this, my friends....

all happened tonight.

I miss my sweet little boy who was

so happy the majority of the time and was so much fun to be around.

*Issei and our friend Kayla....9 years ago.

Yes....I know this is all normal.

Yes, I know that this too shall pass and I just have to be patient.

Yes.

I know.

But that doesn't make it any easier.

~~sigh~~

and thanks Google Images for the eye candy for Debbie that also helped get the point across...hopefully...and even if it didn't...that's okay....hellLLllloooo.....EYE CANDY!!

********

My students crack me up!!!
A few weeks ago, we were talking about shopping and different kinds of stores and whatnot in one of my classes.  That particular day, we were talking about toy stores and the kinds of toys that

kids play with today.

One of the discussion questions was something like

"What was your favorite toy when you were growing up?"

Keeping in mind that the average age in this class is around 60, it was fun listening to what they played with.

We all agreed that not a lot of imagination was needed for many of the toys today....and for some reason, someone mentioned paper dolls.

You remember paper dolls, don't you?

I don't really say that I feel nostalgic very often, but, this day?

Oh yeah.

I remember painstakingly cutting out the clothes and sometimes even taping the little tabs a bit so they would last longer.

I loved my paper dolls.

The discussion continued on to other dolls, Barbi and her counterpart here, Rikka-chan and the like.  As we continued with the lesson on shopping in a toy store, one of the ladies quietly stood up and walked to the front of the room.

Not saying a word, she put something in my hand.

 My own Japanese handmade paper doll.

She came complete with a detachable apron

over a dress.

(We gotta get her some more clothes!!)

I sat there looking at this doll and just smiled.

What an incredibly sweet thing for my student to do.

And....I totally ignored the fact that she did this while the rest of us had gone on and were talking about something else.  Yeah....she's so forgiven!!!

*************

Dear young girl working the third check-out counter at the supermarket,

How are you? I know that you don't really like your job.  It's pretty easy to read in your body language that you'd rather be somewhere else.  But....if it's 6:30 and all the registers are busy with lines that are 5-6 people long and your register gets a glitch....it would really be in your best interest to NOT tell the two little Japanese grandmas and one foreign woman who had been standing in line for about 15 minutes that you needed "to close, could you go to another register?"  They had already been waiting for a long time and the other lines were even longer.....they really weren't very happy.  One of the grandmas might have even filed a complaint.  The foreigner may have mentioned to the information desk about this incident.

Just remember...relax...and get someone to your register that knows what is going on.

And smile, dammit.

It wouldn't kill you.

Have a good day, okay?

A not-so-happy customer

****************

Japanese canned beer comes in a variety of sizes.

The second one from the right is your basic 16 ounces of brew.

See that little baby one on the left end?

Sometimes I'll pick up a couple..they're fun and cute and just enough when I just want a taste of beer.

Yeah...uh-huh...I can too just drink a little bit.  (^-^)

They are also good to have in the grocery bag after a really bad day and I'm feeling that if just one more person does or says something...anything...to me, I'm just going to lose it.....I have been known to

open one up and drink it after I pull into the parking space and before I even shut the car off to go into the house.

In the quiet of the car...before the hustle and bustle of the evening can even get started,

Mom gets a bit of a break.

And all is right with the world again.

(^_^) /*

just easing back into a regular scheduled program.....

happy friday, everyone.
and yeah...i know...it's tuesday night
(here in japan, anyway...i don't know what day it is where you are)...
just work with me folks...and look back up to the title of this particular post.  did you see it?
"easing back into a regular schedule"
some of us just ease back into things a little slower than others.
whatever.
~~sigh~~

i found these gerber daisies at my favorite little flower shop a couple of weeks ago (now almost three weeks ago, but...carry on) and they are still looking pretty good (okay...so they're dead and tossed in the trash now and only a mere memory...again, carry on).  the color is almost an antique pink.  when issei saw this picture he thought it looked kind of like a sheep....a pink sheep....an antique-y looking pink sheep.

that's okay.  we know what it is.

(^-^)

**************

the snow has melted....but in our garden there is still a bit that is really hanging in...errr....laying there.

this part of the garden doesn't seem to get as much winter sunshine....koji thought that tomorrow (the other day!), if it was still there, he would see if he could make some more snowmen....something tells me that they might just possibly end up being snowballs....color me silly, i know, but.....why on earth would i think that?

*****
resolution:   a promise to yourself that you'll make a serious effort to do something 

 many people, during the new year, make resolutions for the coming year.

and many of those same people, by the end of the first week (if they've lasted that long) are done.

i'm much like those many other people...i come up with things that i want to accomplish in the coming year.. but, my motivation doesn't last very long.

it's the pressure.

i fold like a paper umbrella in the rain.

(yeah, maybe i just made that up....you can use it if you want.)

it's the whole "i'm going to do blah blah blah." or the

"i will yadda yadda yadda." that gets me.

so...this year....i'm making anti-resolutions (for want of a much better word)..

things that i'm NOT going to do.

for example.....

*i'm not going to have more than 2 coffees (and i use that word coffee very loosely, as i tend to order drinks that are frothy and have whipped cream on the top) a week from my favorite mermaid logo-ed coffee house.

*i do not have to eat every little snack and sweet that my students or neighbors give me as souvenirs from some place that they have visited.  the men in my family love that stuff,too...i'm not going to keep all that goodness for just myself...i'm going to share the sweet, tasty love.

*i'm not going to buy a tea and something else at the convenience store. (and by "something else" i mean something to eat).  i'm perfectly fine with just a tea.  really. i am.

*i'm also not going to beat myself up if i happen to slip and have a third (or fourth) coffee that week...or eat a delicious snack from Tokyo...or even grab a small can of chips to go with my green tea. 
it's done.

move on, scarlett.

*i'm not going to worry or angst or lose sleep anymore over people who i thought were my friends, but who said or did something that proved otherwise.
 i have so many wonderful friends, why do i let, for example (i have a couple more, but will share only one), that one asshole (sorry, mom) who had been my friend for almost 35 years, to get away with dropping me and my friendship because, as he said, i was "being too cynical and negative".
 
 oh, just for the record....if you are my friend and you happen to have a cynical or negative day, i will not ignore you...or demean your feelings.
i will not be that friend.

*i am not going to let all the little projects i have started sit for another year...unfinished.
i will not put off these things any longer.
also i will not think that i'm not good enough to share these things and even though i'm not
martha freakin' stewart.....i know how to get in touch with her.

oh...my friends, i have more...some i don't even know about yet...but....it's late and i'll share just one more.....one of most important of my anti-resolutions:

*i do not want to stay up too late at night..especially on a school night..when it's gets to be one o'clock in the morning and in five hours i have to get up, it's time to shut things down.
we are not really fond 'tired debbie'....'rested and happy debbie' is so much better to have around.

that said, i bid you all adieu...
to you
and you
and  especially you.

 

...and a hoppy new year to you

2011

The "Year of the Rabbit".

The old year ended and the new one began in a very unique way....snowy...cold...and we were pretty much snowed in.  This was the most snow for this time of year in over something like 90 years.

It was beautiful but....we live on a mountain (okay, so it's a really big hill) and by the evening of the 30th, the buses were already driving with chains on their tires.

 It was forecast that we could get 10 cms. (about 4 inches).

Many of us were speculating on the truth of that forecast....
"Really? 10 cms.? No way!" 

Well....on the 31st....this is what we woke up to

It was pretty amazing.

Some places around the city got 12-14 cms. of the white stuff.

There was only one way up to our part of the town and that was if you had chains on your car....no one was going in or out of our neighborhood for awhile....at least in a vehicle.

While the boys were out playing, the K-man and I walked/shuffled/slid to the grocery store to get extra beer and snacks provisions for the day....and then spent the rest of the day just hanging out...either playing outside or warming up/drying out in front of the heater.

It was a pretty great day.

I hope that your new year has begun with something memorable...

or at least something just really nice....or even

something....not bad.

May the Year of the Rabbit be wonderful to us all.

I have GOT to start offering Koji money for a nice face when we take pictures!!

*This is one of the nengajo (New Year's greeting cards that most people send to their friends)

that we printed up...the other is in the header, up there...at the top of this page.

We're kind of lazy in that, we send only to those who send to us first.

So, if you want to,

go ahead and click on the picture and save a copy...

print it out and hang on your refrigerator.

Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!!

Happy New Year...from our house....to yours!!

(^_^)/*