a favor....of the energy kind

in japanese we say onegai , or favor....as in 

"i have a small onegai...."

this time tomorrow

and the next

please take a few seconds to send some positive energy this way.

issei...and our friends kayla and saori are all taking the

public high school exams (on the 6th and 7th).

though at different schools...

they, along with a gazillion (or maybe it just seems like that many) other 9th graders here in nagasaki city,

will be sitting through 5 exams (and possibly an interview)

that are can be quite stressful for them....

and their moms.

in hawaiian....

makia mana

makia-> concentration

mana-> confidence

energy flows where attention goes

everything is energy

if you have some extra, please send a bit our way.

thanks.

arrigato.

muchos gracias.

and just a note.....

issei and i had a long talk the other night about the test and the results....

it was good, i think, for him to talk about his own nervousness.  though he has taken two other tests and he does feel confident about most of the subjects he will be tested on, there was still that 

"but, what if i'm not accepted?" question lingering in the back of his mind.

knowing it was time for me to "mom up", i did my best to reassure him that if he passes? we will celebrate a bit and life will go on.

if he doesn't pass and he has to go to one of the private schools?

"i'll give you a hug....and life will go on."

things happen for a reason....we may not understand those reasons (and we may question them!!), but...

what you are doing right now, is what you are supposed to be doing

and this? i truly believe.

...because i need to vent some frustration....

the act of "holding one's shit together" is something i do pretty well...

usually. 

but, for the next 7 days...and then until March 18...

i'll be lucky to get out of the house with my sox matching.

long story short....my oldest will take the high school entrance exam next wednesday and thursday.

this particular test is for one public school.

and he gets one chance.

that's it.

one.

in january, he took exams for two private schools.

he passed those.

but...he really needs to pass this next one.

public school is relatively free.

private school is  *cough...gasp...gag* not.

and this, my friends, scares me.

the very idea that we would have to borrow money for him to go to high school....

is just wrong.

test...march 6 & 7

graduation...march 15

announcement of public exam...march 18

if he passes?  celebrating, knowing that all we really have to pay for is his uniforms,

 will begin soon after hearing the results.

if he doesn't? we have one day to get to the private school he chooses to attend,

major cash in hand (120,000 yen/$1304) for the entrance fee and

let them know he will be attending.

that, my friends, is a lot of yen.

yeah.

stressed.

oh...and just in case you are wondering....the monthly school fees for those two private schools are both around 38,000 yen/$423.

every month.

i'm like a duck...

on the top of the water, 

all calm and cool and "dah di dah di dah" (that's singing, by the way)

but underneath?

 paddling like crazy to keep from sinking.

that's me.

the thing is....my boy knows how important this is.

but....i'm trying to keep it calm....not freak him out.

he's the one who has to take the test and be all charming for the interview. 

(oh yeah...did i not mention an interview?)

he's been studying...going to two different tutors to help him.

he has his own stress to deal with.

so...for me...

stress means....

i'm not sleeping very well.

my stomach feels hoojie more often than not.

i'm spending waaay more time over on facebook than what i usually do.

oh...and....yeah....

that.

major change in eating and exercise habits....march 20.

keep us in your thoughts....and if you have any

"keeping from going freakin' crazy" prayers....

send those my way, please.

thank goodness it's almost spring and at least we have the

promise of warmer weather....hopefully soon.

*the ume/plum blossoms in our garden...

blooming even as i type, i'm sure*

the 'non-resolution' post

the idea of making new year's resolutions is not only for people of the western world.  people here sometimes make them....and as with most of us in the western world, they also are pretty much done with them very quickly.
(i'm thinking that my 'record' would have to be about 2 weeks....i know...awesome, right?)

in one of my classes, we were talking about resolutions and how no one even tried anymore and then, one lady said...."i wrote something for this."  all of us were very interested in hearing what she had to say....i mean...really? resolutions? was she serious?

and she was.....in a way.

she then told of us her "resolution".....she decided that this year, she was going to focus on three things: english, tai chi, and volunteering at the hospital.

focus.  
            not
                    "i will study english everyday." or
                              "i will practice tai chi three times a week."  or
                                                                 "i will volunteer twice a week."

focus.  she's just going to focus on those things.

i think i like this.

one of the main things i don't like about making resolutions is not the fact that i gave up so quickly, but, the fact that i was so hard on myself for giving up.  it was almost as i was giving myself a guilt trip...or tying to anyway.  doesn't that sound ridiculous?

so, for the past few weeks, i've been thinking about focusing....i'm liking this idea so much better.  a 'non-resolution' kind of thing.  guilt and pressure free.

i can handle that.

i can also handle not being too terribly specific about what i'm focusing on.  sure, i've got a couple general things to focus on for the year (hula...staying calm with the boys and spending more time with them..finding the floor of my room, underneath all that crap stuff i have collected.....), but, i've also decided that monthly/weekly/daily focuses will be good, too.  

                      i will focus on all the dust that has collected on the top of the fridge. 

                            i will focus on getting to bed at a more decent hour...unless CSI: las vegas is on, then...meh.  i'll just focus on NOT sleeping the next day in class.

                                  i will focus on getting my disaster craft area under control and actually try to  

                                                     create something....or a few somethings.

i like this non-resoluting idea.....it's working for me.

 (even though it's after midnight and i'm still awake..that's okay...really..it is.)

ahem....hi. my name is debbie and i haven't posted here in 6 months..

i have no excuses.
no grand reports of world travels
 or secret liasons that kept me from
updating since...when? july?

i'm not even sure if i'm on anyone's "radar" anymore.
and that? is okay.
when i started this blog in may of 2006 (586 posts ago),
it was before i wasn't going to be able to go to the states for the summer and, to be honest, i was a little depressed about that.  blogging helped me "meet" friends and gave me something else to think about.

since last july, we've been busy....doing a lot of little things....but things that, when i sat down here to tell you about, didn't seem too interesting or "blogworthy".  so, i typed out a sentence or two over on facebook and called it good....and that became the pattern.
not a bad pattern, but still....not blogging.
so...
i'm back.
i've missed it here.
it will be
baby steps

baby. steps....
cute, little bitty baby steps...
to get some blogging mojo back.


i hope you're having a good one....
it's cold here in nagasaki and if it's cold outside, it's freakin' freezing INside the house.
 yikes.  not too much fun.
hey!
i may have a blogpost soon on
"how to stay warm in japan"....i've had a lot of experience in this.

stay tuned....my  blogging hiatus may be about over.
(^-^)/*