...because i need to vent some frustration....

the act of "holding one's shit together" is something i do pretty well...

usually. 

but, for the next 7 days...and then until March 18...

i'll be lucky to get out of the house with my sox matching.

long story short....my oldest will take the high school entrance exam next wednesday and thursday.

this particular test is for one public school.

and he gets one chance.

that's it.

one.

in january, he took exams for two private schools.

he passed those.

but...he really needs to pass this next one.

public school is relatively free.

private school is  *cough...gasp...gag* not.

and this, my friends, scares me.

the very idea that we would have to borrow money for him to go to high school....

is just wrong.

test...march 6 & 7

graduation...march 15

announcement of public exam...march 18

if he passes?  celebrating, knowing that all we really have to pay for is his uniforms,

 will begin soon after hearing the results.

if he doesn't? we have one day to get to the private school he chooses to attend,

major cash in hand (120,000 yen/$1304) for the entrance fee and

let them know he will be attending.

that, my friends, is a lot of yen.

yeah.

stressed.

oh...and just in case you are wondering....the monthly school fees for those two private schools are both around 38,000 yen/$423.

every month.

i'm like a duck...

on the top of the water, 

all calm and cool and "dah di dah di dah" (that's singing, by the way)

but underneath?

 paddling like crazy to keep from sinking.

that's me.

the thing is....my boy knows how important this is.

but....i'm trying to keep it calm....not freak him out.

he's the one who has to take the test and be all charming for the interview. 

(oh yeah...did i not mention an interview?)

he's been studying...going to two different tutors to help him.

he has his own stress to deal with.

so...for me...

stress means....

i'm not sleeping very well.

my stomach feels hoojie more often than not.

i'm spending waaay more time over on facebook than what i usually do.

oh...and....yeah....

that.

major change in eating and exercise habits....march 20.

keep us in your thoughts....and if you have any

"keeping from going freakin' crazy" prayers....

send those my way, please.

thank goodness it's almost spring and at least we have the

promise of warmer weather....hopefully soon.

*the ume/plum blossoms in our garden...

blooming even as i type, i'm sure*